after that entry, i gave the 'telling my parents about him' part much thought, and i've decided to tell my mom.

she was calm and nice about it, but somehow i just don't feel relieved at all. i thought i would. but it just made me more worried than ever.

mixed feelings. i don't know, i just don't...

it just seems to early to just go to bed now, after all its christmas eve! well.. not like it hold much significance as well. sigh.. i've been quite emotional lately, yes from my previous post i guess its pretty obvious.

anyways, i was just online and i wanted to make an xmas card and i suddenly remembered origamic architecture. its something i've been interested in for a long time, but never had the time and effort to get more information about it. its really cool, its difficult to describe it in words, so this is the website : http://www5d.biglobe.ne.jp/~m-uet/ if u do have time, go take a look! its amazing what you can do with just a simple piece of paper. and once you finish a card, you'll just feel so happy anf contented and accomplished. haha its a tedious process but the finished product just makes it all worthwhile. time to head down to kinokuniya to look for some origamic architecture books.

but its not all gloomy for me today. i received my first christmas present today! its a pair of really gorgeous betsey johnson shoes from my boyfriend. well the downside is that its a pair of stilettos with 4-inch high heels. so that doesn't allow me to wear it as often as i would like to. i finally understood the term 'killer heels'. haha. i was just walking for like 10 mins and i was like thinking, how do women survive this? but i totallt adore them. :D oh yes and my second christmas present was from my brother! he got me a 'one republic' album. i've never heard of this boy band before, but they do sound not bad! being in my presents christmasy mood now, i feel like writing down a presents wish list! :D

emma's wish list:
-hotel costes albums 1-5
-origamic architecture book
-house of anli heart-shaped picnic basket bag (which i'm patiently waiting for the shop to bring in)
-enamel bangles ( c.c. skye @ quintessential, colette, or hopefully hermes or tod's XD)
-pair of black jeans ( true religion, 7 for mankind, guess, miss sixty etc?)
-dresses! ( esp the karen millen one. 599 ): )
-shoesssss! ( who can ever get enough shoes?)
-calvin klein + princess tam tam bras ( they look soooo gorgeous)
-watch ( eyeing the marc jacobs or michael kors watch now haha )
-IPL for hair-free legs!


thats all for emma's wishlist. oh its 12.07am now on 25th december. as usual, the lines are jammed and i can't send my christmas wishes to all the people i love.

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

especially to all my friends,

lots of love,
emma (:

another day..

i've been feeling quite upset today, i don't know why, maybe its part of my pms process or maybe its just that i haven't been doing much these 2 days and i feel like i'm simply wasting my life away. i mean its the holidays! i just wanna be out and not at home. its just that being stuck at home for those few months just makes me want to go out every single day, just to make up for the loss.

sometimes, i feel that my relationship with my boyfriend seems like some sort of forbidden love. because my parents are unaware of it, and sometimes i just wanna stop lying to them about who i'm going out with, because i feel really bad about it. at the same time, i don't know how to break the news to them that i'm dating someone. i mean my dad will probably freak out and disapprove, because he's the one who said i should only date when i stabilise after starting work (which also means when i'm 30+). i mean yes career is important, and according to my dad's logic, only when i've status and whatsoever will i be able to find better guys. but please, asking me to get married when i'm over 35? thats not possible. after all, i feel that my main goal in life is not to be a successful career woman, but someone who is a successful wife and mother. yes my main goal in life is to get married and have kids and be contented with that. and i'm someone who believes in long term relationships, even if it means dating someone for ten years before marriage. because getting to know a person well enough to devote your whole life to that someone really takes alot of time, and sorry but to me, a year or 2 is just not enough. sigh. well breaking the news to my mom and bro should be less of a challenge as compared to my dad. there are only 2 outcomes i guess, the first is that they meet my boyfriend, and they adore him and therefore allow me to continue my relationship with him, and the second is that they hate him, and forbid me to see him ever again. i really hope the outcome's the first one. because if its the latter, i really don't know what i'd do. suddenly, images from the korean dramatic dramas jsut came to my head. perhaps such scenarios really do happen in real life. well, lets just try to be optimistic.

i realised i'm quite a non-feminist woman. haha i mean i certainly don't believe that women can live without men. i mean men and women are very different creatures physically and otherwise. we are made differently to perform the different tasks and we just have to accept the fact that most men are made to do what they're best at, and women are made to do what we're best at. but, i do believe that we can do what men can do, but perhaps not as well as them. and i do believe that women should know their own rights, and not tolerate any form of discrimination or abuse by men.

okay, this is totally pms. i won't usually write such things. haha. right actually i kinda feel better now after sharing my worries. i'll just try to be optimistic about the future and hope for the best.

hello!

hello! well this year is coming to an end.. it seems really fast! i can't believe the As are over, and so is my junior college life. haha so right now i'm just doing nothing and waiting for my results. so in the meantime, i guess i'm gonna look for a job (which is taking a really really really looooong time), and hopefully do some travelling! thinking of going to bangkok and maybe europe or japan (again!).

talking about japan, the trip to japan was great! oh and my feet were kept warm thanks to kath who got me the ugg boots. really warm! i'll try to upload the photos to my blog soon :D i really like japan and i wanna go back again soon! cos when i went it was like winter so there wasn't much clothing to get, most were like winter wear. and i didn't get to spend much time in tokyo, therefore, not much time to shop as well. haha. so yeah, i wanna go back again!

oh wells i hope i'll be able to update more soon! oh yes, merry christmas and happy holidays!


lots of love,
emma (:

its been a really long time since i last posted something,
the As are finally over, and i kinda have this 'lost' feeling inside of me..
its like all of a sudden you just stop what you've always been doing-studying. i mean, not like its a bad thing, i guess i'm still trying to get used to not using me brains ( maybe i haven't been doing that all along too hehe), and kinda having so much free time to spare. i mean its good, the spare time, but there's only so much you can do in singapore, and after awhile, you just find that life's monotonous.
yes, i do hve plans for this long break of mine, basically i'm gonna get my driving license ( so i get to hang out till later at night (YAY) and to travel around easily), do my SAT, get a job, enjoy my long break. i wish i could just travel around and just relax, but with my mommy, i'm always going on tour packages, which is something i really dislike, because i feel that its like more stressful as compared to being in singapore. i have to wake up at like 6 plus in the morning and hang out with people i don't know. i mean i'm not exactly the kind who's able to hang out with others easily. and i have to go to those places i don't exactly want to. its just a wastage of time spent there. but, i shall not complain, i feel fortunate enough that i'm actually going somewhere.

JAPAN! yes, i'l partly excited and partly scared. i have this feeling i'll go crazy and start buying everything and spend excessive amounts of money on things i don't really need. i admit i'm a shopaholic, i buy things that look good, appeal to me, and 'i have to get it', but in the end, i realise that i don't really need them. its evident from the fact that every year, i clear probably 1/4 of the things i buy.

well, as i'm getting older by a year, i just hope that i'd have more self-control. its difficult, i like ALOT of things, and i mean it. i mean i could list down a list of things that i want now, and the list would probably be like 10 storeys high, kidding haha. i admit i'm materialistic and brands do matter for me. i mean it makes u feel better, the same way wearing a great bra makes u feel good. so well, time for me to do some financial planning practise self-control!

the hermes 'H' bracelet! i want it! its soooo gorgeous. the pink one's so pretty!

its been a long time since i last wrote something..
been busy and all, or simply just lazy to write anything.
well recently alot has happened in my life, and it has made me realised how blessed i am. yes i admit that sometimes i tend to be forgetful and take things for granted. i really ought to treasure what i have more and complain less about what i do not.

my dad went for an operation last week after he discovered that he had a lump near his stomach. i urged him to go for a check up cos i was really worried and he hasn't done one proper full check up before. i'm glad he went eventually after much persuasion and pushing. knowing my dad, if we had not done so, he would have waited till probably next year, or when he's really free before doing so. we went to dr kum for his check up. his blood test results were good and the lump was no biggey. so dr kum suggested that he go for a colonoscopy just to make sure. i'm glad he went, cos he discovered a tumour in my dad's colon and also some gall stones. so he went for an operation immediately. my family assured me that everything was okay, and my mom only told me about everything today, about her and my bro not telling me the possibility of my dad having cancer. i knew that something was not okay as my mom wasn't sleeping well and eating well during that period of time. she was just afraid that my dad would have to go through what she went through in the past, and basically i guess she was afraid of losing him. well, i would have freaked out too if they told me the worst possible scenario. well, thankfully the operation was very successful and my dad did not have cancer. but dr kum told us that if we had not discovered it early and went for the operation, the tumour might have been a cancerous one in abt 6 mths. it was quite shocking to hear that, i mean if he didn't discover the lump and went for a check up, and wait till only 6 mths later, what would have happened? i dare not think about that.

one of the most depressing periods of my life was the times when my mother had to deal with her chemotherapy. i remember clearly it was when i was in primary 6, and in secondary 3. ever since i was in primary school, my mom has gone for operations, but they were nothing major. so that time, when my mom had to go for an operation, i thought it was the same as well and i didn't worry alot. i never thought my mom would have cancer. it never struck me that someone i love so much would have that. i was very upset at that point in time as i was so afraid that i would lose her. i was only 12. sometimes, i had nightmares that she was gone. it was really scary. she told me only after her operation that she was going to go through chemotherapy. and i remember asking her if that means that she has cancer. i was still quite naive then. she told me that she'd do anything to live, because she was living for me. she didn't wanna leave me when i'm still so young, and let me grow up without a mother. i was very touched when i heard that, she is truly a great mother. she's my wonderwoman. the strongest woman i've seen in my life. she went through her chemotherapy, and she perservered and she succeeded in her battle with cancer. my mother is someone who is always very positive, and that is something thats very important when fighting with something thats so deadly. i remember she would drive to the hospital for her chemotherapy with her make up and perfectly manicured nails. no one would have guessed then that she has cancer. she never showed her weaker side to anyone else. but i knew that it was very difficult for her. sometimes she would get so tired and feel nauseous. she couldn't eat alot as her tongue was very sensitive and painful. i tried my best to be there for her when she needed me. i would say that its very fortunate that she survived it not once, but twice. she's my wonderwoman (:

i think my family is very lucky. well today my dad got into a car accident but thankfully he's okay and only his car is damaged.

i'm very thankful that my parents are so healthy now. i've learned something very important from them, that is to always be optimistic regardless of the circumstances and never give up. i think they've influenced my brother and i to be very positive as well. its true, most of the time, the house is filled with laughter. there's rarely a night where we don't smile or joke or laugh. thats the way my family is. we take things pretty lightly and dont dwell much on the unhappy moments. i'm lucky that i've them, they're my most valuable assets.

well, i hope i'd be more understanding and treasure them more. i feel that ive taken too many things for granted, and in a way, i've become relatively spoilt. i should count my blessings instead and be a better daughter and sister and give thanks whenever i can.

15 days into the holidays and i'm still idling arond doing nothing..except for a teeny weeny bit of studying( i did econs today!) Sigh. the big As are gonna be here soon. i mean i know that i ought to feel stressed and all. i mean the stress is building up, but somehow there's just no motivation to study or work or whatsoever. i mean hello? its the holidays for goodness sake. its meant for resting right? no? ):

anyways, to release stress, i have to agree totally that shopping does wonders. OR simply hanging out with the ones i love. well, online shopping too. i mean online 'window' shopping. literally window shopping cos u're still looking through the window in ur com. hahaha. okay im being lame. gosh. this shows how bored i am. oh wells, so i was so bored yesterday i decided to put up a list of 'materialistic wants' for myself. i mean they're things i would really love to get, but would never in real life. i mean 1000++ for a pair of shoes? no way man. i mean shoes are still meant for walking.. and the floor's aren't exactly that clean you know. haha. so i guess the only thing i would and must get in future would be the chanel 2.55 bag. in white. not the red one ( i couldn't find a visible nice pic of the white one). i mean its a classic bag, u never have to worry about it going out of fashion, and its designed by coco chanel herself. so well, i'm actually saving money here alright? haha (:

anyways, the great singapore sale has been rather disappointing for myself i would say. i mean i don't really have the urge to buy things lately too. i wonder why. i mean there are things i fancy, but i just don't have the urge to buy them. which is good. so lately, the best offers are definitely la senza bras for me. they're like half the price now, who wouldn't wanna get more of those right? perhaps i should go grab more if they still have them in my size. hmmm other than those and a fcuk jacket and ck bag, there's nothing else i got. my mom on the other hand got more than me haha. so thats good (:

oh and yes, i finally got the tix to the back to basics tour. woohoo. (:
alrightey thats all for now (:

cheerios,
emma (:

'window' shopping online (:

hello my dears,
e-m-m-a 's back (:
i bet u guys missed me alot, haven't you? (:
i did too.
anyways, i will update soon (:

lots of love,
emma <3

goodbye, for now.

i recently stepped into the miu miu shop and omg,
i totally fell in love with it.
the bag, to die for.
the wallets. omg.
the pink patent shoes, gorgeousssss.
the gold hairband. so chic.
i was looking around hoping to find the specs, but sigh
the specs ( i saw online), sad to say was not in the store.

damn. 'if i was a rich girl nah............then i'll have all the money in the world.'
to buy my miu mius. and perhaps some chanel and pradas.
well, its good to dream once in a while isn't it?

the Fafijacket by Adidas!

http://www.shopadidas.ca/vr4-web-site/catalogservlet?productId=21672194&categoryId=2290177

seriously, its just the thing i need now (:

why are the prices of clothing increasing?
somehow, i feel that clothes are so expensive now. damn.

2007!

i haven't exactly been updating much, i know i know. its actually cos i'm lazy+ busy (well... not quite too). but yeah u get my point dont u? sometimes u just dont have the motivation to update. anyway this year... i was actually pretty hardworking at the beginning, but after that i just became slacker and slacker and most of the time, i find myself simply stoning. the urge to go out everyweek, at least once a week shopping, was so great that i can actually prioritise that over homework.

emma emma... time to work hard man! ): As this year. someone please motivate me. my source of motivation has sadly left my side for awhile. but he still does encourage me nonetheless. (: nothing much has happened to me so far... i'm still not doing well for anything much... and yeah i'm such a slacker. lalala. time to get motivated!

okay i'm so bored i shall go to sleep la. good night!

'YAY I'VE CHANGED MY BLOGSKIN!'